On Returning 'Home'

"The Phaeacian sailors deposited the sleeping Odysseus on the shore of Ithiaca, his homeland, to reach which he had struggled for twenty years of unspeakable suffering. He stirred and woke from sleep in the land of his fathers, but he knew not his whereabouts. Ithaca showed to him an unaccustomed face; he did not recognize the pathways stretching into the distance, the quiet bays, the crags and precipices. He rose to his feet and stood staring at what was his own land, crying mournfully: “Alas! And now where on earth am I? What do I here myself?” -Homer The Odyssey


"Be srong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord" Psalm 31:24

Last Sunday the PT department had a party at our supervisor's house. Since most of the students live near me, we all walked together to the compound. On walking back one of my students turned and asked me- "Dr. Jayme, what will your family think of you when you go home? You know that you've changed-your accent has changed!" And while I had to explain that the reason my accent is different is because I change it when I'm around them-that I can speak regular "white man talk" when I'm around other Westerners. But he did raise a question that I've been struggling with these past few months. Re-entering.... in what ways have I changed that is so subtle I haven't even noticed it? In what ways has the States changed since I've been gone so that the 'home' I think I'm returning to is different to the effect that it may no longer feel like 'my home culture'? I started thinking that I too would feel like Odysseus-looking around my home culture and nothing looking familiar...


I started really freaking out about how I would re-enter the States in June. I've done traveling PT and missionary work in Cameroon together for 4 years. I'm not just adjusting to coming back to the States-I'm going to adjust to actually renting out a place for longer than 3 months, moving officially from Sioux Falls to Oregon, getting a job that I want to keep for more than the regular 3 months of a traveling PT job, making big steps and commitments. The thought of going back seemed more daunting than the initial though of leaving for Cameroon. In Cameroon I knew that this would most likely be for a set period of time, I knew who I was going to be working with, I knew where I was going and what approximately to expect. Going back to the States- I'm stepping into the unknown-uncharted territory for me-and it seemed so scary.

I realized that I had to think of returning as entering another culture-not to have certain expectations of what people think or how things work. That it's ok to be frustrated or unsure within my own culture-I've adjusted to Africa-I can adjust back to the States. I was focusing on the storm, the bumps and scary turns in the road. I had forgotten to trust in God- to focus on the light that brings rainbows through the rain of the storms, that shows me the right way to turn in the bumpy road I will soon be traveling.