Goodbyes...

"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself.”
-Soren Kierkegaard

"I will cling to that old rugged cross"
-George Bennard

These last few months of waiting have been such a jumble. In the midst of waiting for VISA to go through, both of my grandpas passed away. I remember sitting in church on Easter with everyone celebrating Christ's resurrection and the gift that came because of that, but what I felt was still the hurt, pain and death of it all. Yet there is hope and joy because I know both of my grandfathers are with Christ in their heavenly homes. Through the pain, we have clung to that old rugged cross. It is the only thing that brings comfort and hope.
Saying earthly goodbyes to my grandpas have definitely changed my goodbyes to people before leaving for the field. We've all been so preoccupied with my grandfathers' passing that me heading out to Cameroon didn't really 'hit' me until 4 days before I am leaving. All of these emotions hitting me at once: excitement, fear, scared, ready, not feeling ready. Can you tell I'm a mess of mixed emotions right now?

So here I am...bags are packed (had to sit on my luggage for it to zip), VISA is in hand, plane is booked for May 14th. Daring to take that step to the next chapter in my life. Clinging God's hand as he guides me through the step...