?Readjusted?

It's been over 2 months since Africa. I don't know how to explain it. Ever wonder what the Pevensie kids went through culturally when they entered Narnia and then when they had to go back? In Narnia, you looked different than everyone else. There were things that you could do to make a dramatic change for the better- you could actually see that you were a part of something that was bigger than yourself- and for some reason, you were chosen to do it. There were times when things just didn't make sense and it was frustrating 'this would never, happen in London'. Then, to go back to be small, just another person in the crowd. Everything makes sense, but now you have this bigger picture of things. You yearn for Narnia, and yet for this home on Earth at the same time. It's like you have two different persons who belong in both completely opposite worlds...and it's confusing...
My memories are starting to fade. I look back at pictures and remember those dear to me that are so far away. I've forgotten things that really bothered me when I initially came back in the States. And part of me is relieved that I don't have such a strong intrinsic struggle....and yet the other part of me wonders 'should I really be ok with this part of my culture again?' So I go back and forth between adjusting and trying not to adjust. I like how things make sense, but I also yearn for the adventures I once had in my 'Narnia'. Is that selfish? I don't know.
Two more months in Canby, MN. These next 4-5 weeks are going to once again teach me to have trust in God and patience that He knows what He's doing. I'm hoping to go out to Oregon coast. All these different travels, they're leading me somewhere- to some place I will call home. I'm just not sure exactly where that will be. Or will I ever truly find a 'home' on this earth? We shall see what this New Years has to bring...